Proyecto:Terapia en español

Estoy estudiando español... otra vez... Esta es mi tercer intento a ser bi-lingua. En 2004 estudié italiano para un año ante mi aventura en Italia. Este spring break (vacacione de primavera?) voy a ir a London con mis amigas. En Inglaterra, no necesito español, pero las lenguas me fascinan. :)

Estoy usando Livemocha para muchas de mi estudias. Yo compré un curso de español unas años atrás. Es aburrido estudiar con un libro y CDs solamente... Necesito algo diferente. Voy a intentar buscar oportunidades a hablar español este año. Con mis estudiantes?? Mi vocabulario pequeño y mis problemas con... conjugation... lo hacen difícil. También, entiendo muy lentamente.

Deséame suerte!


*Note, I did manage to write most of this without assistance but required a little past tense help and lots of spell check. :)

**I also have many yarn projects in the mix... yeah for autumn!!!

London 2013

I am a travel addict.

They say you make time for that which is important to you. I make time and save money.

My first true trip, childhood vacations excluded, was in 2004 to Italy. I ate pancakes and ramen for a year to afford it, studied Italian voraciously, and it left an ever-present impact on my life. I believe you cannot adequately understand the world until you see it.

GRANTED... In my many travels, I admittedly have only been to Europe, which is a fairly narrow scope of our world, but even walking through the paved, car-lined streets with the comforts of modern civilization in all directions, people watching across the ocean in the heart of another culture speaks volumes of our common humanity.

2004 - Italy
2006 - Germany with a hint of Austria
2008 - Ireland
2010 - Paris
2011 - Ireland
2012 - Hawaii
2013 - LONDON!!!

I am a long-time anglophile that was over-joyed to find a documentary series about the British monarchy from its inception on Netflix. (I know more about the history of British royalty than probably most of you combined.) I have researched the interments of Westminster Abbey on more occasions than I can count, and there are few things that sound tastier than High Tea service. I have watched the House of Commons on CSPAN... voluntarily.

I recently started a spending diet, but planning a spring break venture with two of my best girl friends is the best incentive for hoarding it away. :)

When Roger died, one of my many points of loss was that of my travel partner. I am so thankful for adventurous friends!!!! :) :) :) God save the Queen!

Privacy Dilemmas

This woman wants to talk to me.

Cool stuff... I know... :)

I emailed The Suze Orman Show a while back asking if they thought I was doing the right stuff with my money: 30 year old widow, planning for retirement, making sure I can do it on my own if I need to. All the kinds of stuff people my age SHOULD be thinking about if they want to retire before the age of 70 and/or be able to have a normal existence once their monthly checks are dramatically chopped. 

So I emailed Suze. We're friends. I've watched her for years. I'm positive that she would always tell me "You CAN afford it" if I were to ask. :) 

But then the crazy thing was my email was actually answered!!! In the form of a phone call! A phone call that came in the middle of new-to-district teacher inservice I might add. I waited to pee my pants until AFTER I left campus that day. :) Would I like to be a guest on their show, they inquired. After an emphatic yes, I was sent a lengthy Excel file that covered every aspect of my financial status from top to bottom and a lot of places you forget about. 

I emailed my info back and then combed through it, piece by piece, with one of their producers... I talked at length to a producer. :) Yeah, I'm awesome. :) 

And then they called me back.

Sigh.

A quick search revealed a lot about my story, "my situation" as CNBC calls it, that peaked their interest. Originally, they wanted me as a phone guest for their "How Am I Doing" segment, citing there are far more young widows out there than we hear about, especially in the last several year with young, married men going off to Iraq and Afghanistan. A young widow is relatable. A young widow is interesting. 

But a young widow with my story is video interview worthy. 

And I don't know how I feel about that. It actually made my stomach churn a little. A piece of my heart will always belong to Roger. I will always cherish the time I was married to him, and even as I find it harder to remember his voice, I will never forget how loud it was or the sound of his laughter. But coming to a new school, I get a little bit of my anonymity back. 

I have felt under a spotlight for the last 2 1/2 years. Every time I walk into a room of band directors I wonder if he is what they think about. Probably not. I wonder how many of the looks are that of pity. Probably none. Maybe a couple. But I am very sensitive of the fact that I was thrust into the limelight for nothing that referenced my skill as a musician or dedication to my craft. We became recognizable through a horrible situation with tragic results, and as far as I want to know, maybe I get to be "anonymous" again. 

But "my situation" is unique. "My situation" is worthy of more time and a closer look. I just don't know if I want that. 

Yarn & Diamond Bling

Today I did virtually nothing. :)

I did mow and walk the doglets, but for the most part I did nothing of importance.
And it was wonderful.

I've been stressing out a lot about my new job. Even though I'm capable of saying out loud that I realize  it's a brand new school, brand new program, that it's going to be a strange year, I'm not capable of actually operating in that mindset.

And so today, after a full day of leadership with a handful of my new kiddos, I did nothing. :)

For most of the day I worked on my version of an Anthropology necklace I found well over a year ago, that I've been planning for equally as long to make. While I crocheted, I finished up season 4 of Mad Men off Netflix. In the final episode Draper proposes to his secretary using the engagement ring he inherited from Anna. It was a sweet scene, but it made me pine for my own ring.

It just sits there.

I wore my engagement ring for only a couple of weeks afterward. I wore my wedding ring for months. I took it off after we spread the ashes.

I don't know what to do with it. There's no way I can part with it. "Make it into a necklace." I have a diamond necklace that I've worn every day for 12 years, and I'll probably where it every day for the next 12. If I tried to have it reset into a different ring, it would be pretty dang flashy and probably still look like an engagement ring. I really love it. It represents a wonderful time in my life, but it sits there. In it's box. Just as pretty as the day it was slipped on my finger. But nobody gets to see it.

I bought myself a very bling-y diamond band last year (because a girl shouldn't have to have a guy to be sparkly) as part of my retail therapy. (That probably could have easily been the name of my blog. I've made a lot of big purchases in the last year and a half...) But as much as I love my "new ring", the old will always be prettier.

So I wore it today.

Go ahead. Think it's awkward. Think it's strange. It's not fair that I have this awesome piece of jewelry that stays well hidden because fate has something against me. I know what you're thinking mom, but no, people would think it was weird if I wore a diamond solitaire when I'm not engaged or married, even on my right hand. But today I wore it for a few hours, just so I could remember how much it sparkles (and how heavy it is), and then I put it back in it's box for who knows how long.

Hard not to feel pretty when you got your bling on.

Psychic?

There is very little left of today, Roger's 35th birthday, but I've had a lot of the previous hours to consider my life, my current state of being, and of course the sweet man of the day.

Particularly over the last year and half, a specific friend of mine and I have joked that I must have some level of psychic ability, even if it exists at the lowest level. Most of the time I'm joking; there are the rare occasions when I'm not.

I am an optimistic pessimist. As far back as I can remember, I have prepared for the worst so that I could handle the worst in the best possible way, or be incredibly grateful when the worst did not come to pass. Example in point: as a young child, my parents would leave my sister and I with my grandparents every year on their anniversary trip to McDonalds. I was always so afraid, even as a little kid, that they would be in a car accident on the way back. I spent the couple of hours they were gone considering how I would need to handle the situation should they die, be crippled, or awaken from a coma with no memory of their children like in a soap opera, all while my grandma dealt the next hand of Gin Rummy. Dark for a 7 year old... I know. Of course, my parents returned safely each year, and my mental over-preparedness for the worst allowed me to be overjoyed when the worst was not.

Years ago, I was recently out of college, working hard, living alone in a small apartment plenty big for just me, miles away from my version of "civilization", feeling very isolated in this world and life in general. I felt very out of place with the rest of the people in my community. Dating any of them was out of the question. Had I wrongly assumed I'd have the white bread, all-American husband and family? And so my optimistic pessimism kicked in. By the age of 23, I had literally begun playing out in my head the future in which I was 40-something spinster (old maid), spending my money selfishly on just myself (since I wasn't married), with two beautiful dogs (mini-schnauzers in that imagination that were replacing the children I didn't have), a shabby chic house (I was so young...) and a career like Betty Pierce. I figured if I told myself this reality long enough, when it came to pass I'd be okay with it, and if it didn't, well, awesome! All kidding aside, I imagined this future for myself a lot. I'd even say it loud to friends or family. I'd talk to my mom about her future grand-dogs, laugh, and then seriously look through those little shops and trades day shows in Fredericksburg for kitschy ways to decorate the house I'd be sharing with those two dog children.

About a week ago it occurred to me that I'm not far off.

Granted, I haven't won Honor Band (yet), and I don't have croquet mallets holding up curtains (like I once thought would be cool), but here I am... Sharing my house with two dogs, thankfully dachshunds. Telling them they are going to see Grandma. Taking vacations to Hawaii because I can afford to lavish myself with travel.

Psychic?

Last year at this time I had my hand in a box of ashes. I was certain that was the worst. 

A year later, I wouldn't call this the worst, but I certainly don't feel prepared. 

Madame Pele, I presume --- Hawaii, the Final Act

It's interesting to remember that the news of Hawaii came to me on my anniversary as a widow. It was while spending the evening with the Williams Clan at Chez Zee that Kim first mentioned that she had accepted this job and the invitation extended to spend some time down there over the summer. It was never a question of if I could make it happen but when. I have a great extended family, and I am thankful for them.

*********************************************************************************

From the moment I bought my plane ticket, I was interested primarily in planning a side trip to the Big Island to play volcanologist. There are only a handful of places in the world that one can witness the churnings of an active volcano, and I simply had to do see it for myself. For my last few days in tropical paradise, we planned a side trip to the island of Hawaii for some real adventure!

We flew into Hilo, Hawaii my last Friday at 7:30pm. One of the ladies at the airport had recommended a diner called Ken's for supper. O  M   G.... Ken's was amazing!!! It was one of those places that had 40,000 items on the menu, a little bit of everything and a whole lot of breakfast, and you knew just by looking at the place that every one of those items would come out amazing. I had a really boring but super delicious bacon, eggs, and pancake dinner with some POG (passion fruit-orange-guava juice). Yum yum! Perfect dinner for exploration. After eating we checked into our hotel and headed out for some star gazing and volcano hunting!

Yes, star gazing. Hawaii is home to the Mauna Kea Observatory - a collection of several observatories and telescopes controlled by a number of countries atop the Mauna Kea (Ma-una Key-a) shield volcano. It hasn't erupted in 4000+ years, and, because of its altitude, there is virtually no man-made light up there. By the time we had unloaded the car with our bags, bundled up for the 40* temperatures you find at 9000 feet above sea level, and found our way down the poorly lit Hawaiian roads, it was 10:00 when we reached the visitors center. You're only allowed to drive up to the actual observatory a) during daylight and b) with a 4x4 vehicle. The kids had conked out the back, so it was just the adults taking in the beauty. We were the only folks up there, and it was so quiet. Looking down and to the north, over the "edge" of the volcano was a silvery sea.... of clouds! It looked just like water; my eyes told me it was water, my brain struggled with the idea it was not, but it was definitely the 5 minutes worth of clouds we had driven through on our way up the volcano. I wish my pictures did better justice, but it was simply beautiful on top of the world that night.

By the time I was done playing with my shutter-speed, trying to get "the shot", it was nearly 11. The plan was to go looking for glowing lava, but Kim and the kids were done. We drove back to the hotel and dropped them off, and at 11:30pm we started our lava hunt. Dave and I had found our soundtrack on Lava Rock 101... how splendidly cheesy. :) There were two different sources for glowing lava I had mapped. We started with Kilauea in the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park.

Kilauea has been erupting constantly since 1983 and is one of the most active volcanoes in the world, right here in our no-passport-needed-USA people!!! There are two main sources for lava within this one volcano: the Halemaumau crater (of which we visited) and the Pu'u'O'o vent (the later of which has been the source of much of Hawaii's "devastation" as recently as March of this year). It took us about 30 minutes to reach the National Park. I was running on fumes at this point. It truly was everything I could do to even stay awake for lava. We drove maybe a quarter of a mile into the park, and as we reached a clearing, to our left were the first plumes of orange smoke in the distance. Any hint of exhaustion was instantly gone!

Let's take a moment to think about that: orange smoke... in the dark... We've all seen smoke at night, if you can see it at all. A grey mist with no definition, no form. This was definitely glowing orange, which meant it was illuminated by something orange... LAVA!!! I seriously cannot tell you how much I wanted to wet my pants! We drove a little further, constantly checking to make sure it was still there, until we reached the sign reading "Kilauea Lookout". We turned in. Turning off the car we were instantly aware that we were again cloaked in silence and darkness, the only illumination coming from a full moon and the erie, fiery glow coming from just down the way.

Following the paved path, we walked maybe 100 yards. In the moonlight, the landscape was devoid of color aside from the brilliantly colored smoke bellowing from a still unseen opening in the earth. The Hawaiians believed that the Halemaumau crater was the home of the goddess Pele, who showed her presence in a number of ways including Pele's Hair. When we finally reached the fenced lookout, it was pure majesty. A foot away was the edge of the summit, dropping 165 meters into the dark Kilauea caldera. Another x# of meters a way (it seemed very close in the night) we could see the very defined, very clear interior of the Halemaumau crater, the actual lava pit sending up its plumes of orange smoke.

I enhanced this a bit so you could see everything clearer.

the original

What do you say as you bear witness to the birth of our world? What does one say standing before one of the most primordial forces of our Earth? You say, "that is coolest f***ing thing I've ever seen in my life!" and you say it over and over again. :) I wish I could say that as I watched Madame Pele making her presence known, as she proved to me why the ancient peoples worshiped her, I wish I could say I had something of value, something poignant to say. But I didn't. Good thing my mom wasn't with me. There would have been soap involved. :)

another angle, this time with a tree! also enhanced

Damn the luggage weight restrictions!!! Damn them! In order to fly as cheaply as possible, not having to pay for an overweight suitcase, what did I purge from the depths of my vacuum-packed clothes??? My tripod... Damn you, American Airlines.

What a moment for a tripod...

I took probably 100 pictures of the crater from Kilauea Lookout. I was truly in awe of just how cool our world is. What an amazing window into... life! If all "nature" was this cool, Mom, I would be more into it. ;) On the way back to the car we noticed another paved path veering to the left, climbing higher up the summit. Assuming a better angle would follow, we hiked through the monochromatic darkness, through the barren, martian fields of what looked like giant cauliflower (in the daylight, it looked nothing like cauliflower) toward the Jaggar Museum. At one point we detoured off the path to the edge of the caldera (no fence here) so I could use a rock as my tripod and take another 100+ pictures, trying to the point of silliness to get capture a moment in time I may never recreate.

After exhausting every possible angle we could reach, Dave and I headed back to the Jeep, at loss for words to describe just how incredible our midnight excursion proved to be. Looking over our shoulder, one might assume we were looking at a forest fire in the night. It's truly amazing to think instead we were looking at liquid rock. I don't know how to describe that hour of my life in the length of a blog entry.

Humbling.
Simply humbling.

notice the offering to Pele hanging on the fence. there were several.

in a lava tube

at the end of our rainforest hike we found a lava field. notice the steam vents

this used to be a subdivision

oops! it was melted into the ground

lava twizzlers!

a double complete rainbow! you have to squint but i swear it's there!

sea turtle! on a black sand beach!!!

check out that 80s hair i've got going! :) 

awesome.

Island Adventure --- Part 3 --- Fish are the Devil, Bobby!

Let me start by saying that I sincerely hope you catch the reference made in my post's title. If not, I am providing you with a link to educate you so that can A) start making your own devil references and B) pretend you got it the first time.

WEDNESDAY, July 4th, I declined the invitation to anchor on a sandbar on a pontoon boat in the ocean with Kim, Dave, and some of their island friends and instead choose to shop and relax. :) Yes, I know, I know... I am quite positive 97% of you are questioning why the heck I would choose shopping over a day on the boat, and you are entitled to that opinion. I offer you 3 words: vomit, sunburn, toilet. Two of these things I prefer to avoid, and the other I refuse to bypass.

I instead walked to the Ala Moana Center, Waikiki's mall which is like nothing I've ever been to. It's set up like a normal 3 story mall, but it's outside... Not a strip mall. Think Barton Creek ala aire libre. Anyhow, virtually all the stores were too expensive for me shop (Chanel, Diane von Furstenberg, Gucci, etc...), but I did find a Crocs store. :) I bought a black and a brown pair of "Sexi Flops". That's right; of all the things I could buy in Hawaii, I bought Crocs. :) I then ate at Subway (yeah Island Adventure!!!!), came back the condo to nap, and then read the 2nd Janet Evanovich book downstairs in the breezeway commons where I could hear the surf and bad Hawaiian music. It was a lovely way to spend the day. :) When the family came back, we walked over to another friend's condo who had the most amazing view of the big fireworks show, which was the biggest I've maybe ever seen.

THURDAY, today, Dave and I went back to Shark's Cove to snorkel for real this time. Just as we found a parking spot it began to rain, cold rain. I stripped down, coated myself in sunscreen, and headed down the muddy path to the water. The tide was much lower than it was the last time we were there, and there were now isolated tide pools between the two main coves. One step into the water and my desire to snorkel waned just a bit. Actually a lot. Dave got out in the cove pretty quickly, but I chose to wander around the tide pools for a bit and give my barely-clad body a chance to acclimate just to the cold air first.

I saw a couple of neat black, volcanic rocks I wanted to take home, made a mental note of their whereabouts, and started for the pools. A few still had access to the waves rolling into Shark's Cove, but most had become separate little ecosystems early this morning. Separating this shallow area from the main body of water are big, tall rocks. I maneuvered my way through the tide pools, the slippery volcanic rock, the little kids who had also chosen the shallows over the cove, and found this neat cave in the big rock. Water from the crashing waves on the other side was spewing forth from the cave, washing smaller fish into the connected pools as well. Right next to the cave was a fissure in the rock that allowed water to rush in and then suck back out sounding exactly like a toilet flush in the process. :) Hiding in the fissure was a HUGE crab! He was not sure what to make of my presence and pulled himself deeper into the crack, just in case. On the way back to the deeper water, I saw several different kinds of smaller crabs, including a couple hermit crabs, skittering across the sand.

Dave met me as I started to very... slowly... wade into the crazy cold water. I wasn't in a big rush to freeze. The currents were pretty strong he said, and just beyond one of the rocks jutting out from the water was a seemingly endless school of fish. It took me probably 5 minutes to just suck it up and get wet. Once I suctioned the mask to my face and committed to getting in the water, the temperature was actually pretty tolerable, especially compared the the cold rain that was again falling.

All of these pictures are ones I jacked off in the internet but are examples of specific fish I saw. 

The first time I snorkeled a few days ago, I couldn't keep my breathing relaxed. In fact, I was so nervously sucking in the air, that my chest actually kind of hurt from taking in such large amounts of air through the snorkel tube. Eventually that subsided, and from the moment I put my face in the water today I was fine...

Until...

I came upon the school of fish Dave was talking about. There were just so many of them! Silvery fish darting through the water in mob mentality. I lifted my head and noticed I had drifted a bit further away from the cove "walls" than I had intended. Putting my face back into the water I could see now that it was actually pretty deep there. I was in the open section of the cove. Trying to calm my breathing back down, I turned to float away from the fish school. That's when I first saw The Fish.

Not the cute orange one. The silver monster behind it.

It looked me square in the eye; unnervingly deteremined was its gaze. It didn't seem to be swimming. It just floated there, staring at me. I freaked out. I would rather pit myself against that whole school of fish than with the one. I turned around to swim back toward the rockier area. I kid you not, upon turning my body a complete 180, I was met face to face with ANOTHER evil fish! I literally screamed through my snorkel. I tried to wave my hands to scare it off (that works with other fish... the colorful kind that don't eat people), and it just floated there!!! Deep within me, animal instinct took over, and I tried to kick both at and away from the devil fish. 

I flipped my body in the direction of the shore, trying to swim to safety. I was breathing really hard. That same tightness was returning. I could hear myself breathing as I realized I was closing off my windpipe. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of light. That damn fish was following me!!! I WAS FREAKING OUT! 

As I tried to calmly continue on to shore, (Dave later told me that he could see me flailing in the water and briefly thought about going in but decided I was a big girl) I shifted again in the opposite direction, to the right, and was met face to goggle by the second devil fish! I squealed again as it stared at me, vicious hatred for mankind behind that solid gaze. THE FIRST FISH SWAM INTO MY LEG! You can call it the current, but I call it tactical maneuvering by two very sinister fish! 

I swam so crazy fast back to the shore, removed my goggles, threw them on my towel, and turned back to look at all the helpless snorkelers, unknowing swimming perhaps to their deaths at the hand/fin of devil fish. Even now, typing this makes me nervous and squirmy. I have quite possibly snorkeled my last snorkel. As I was recounting the events of today's attack to Dave, he laughed and made the dangerous decision to go back into the water. I, however, was DONE! I dried off and relegated myself to looking for shells and cool rocks. I found several.

HOW TO SPOT A DEVIL FISH

Devil Fish can be easily spotted and differentiated from normal fish by looking for these key features:

1. Devil Fish prefer to live in water.
2. They generally have scales and 2 eyes, most often with a solid stare. A sure sign of a Devil Fish is one that does not blink.
3. Devil Fish have fins that they use to swim.
4. More often than not, they will have gills with which they deviously filter oxygen out of the water.
5. If you see a fish NOT floating to the surface, it is probably a Devil Fish. 

There were some other really neat things that I saw and did today, but I feel those stories will take away from the serious nature of the snorkeling "incident". Please take some time to familiarize yourself and your loved ones with how to spot a Devil Fish to best keep you safe in the event you make the unwise choice to put yourself in watery peril. 

Stay safe (and dry), my friends. Stay safe.